As a survivor of child sexual abuse, I can personally attest
that the
effects of abuse touched every aspect of my life - emotional, physical,
relational and spiritual. I lived with a victim mentality for over
thirty
years until I learned to be a survivor.
I was angry with everyone, and afraid to trust anyone. Shame
and guilt became my constant companions, convincing me that I somehow
encouraged the abusers' advances. I built protective barriers to avoid
loving and being loved.
But there is good news:-
This realization sent me into a fierce battle - a matter of
life and
death. I felt I was teetering on the ledge of sanity versus insanity by
the tips of my fingers, my body dangling above the abyss of despair. I
was
afraid of change, but even more afraid of the pain I carried. But I
didn't
try to hide from the truth this time.
I understood the abuse was so invasive it would be a lifelong
recovery process. Just the thought of
letting go of the anger and the grief was hard to bear so I prayed for
God
to send someone who would help me bear the burden and teach me how to
forgive. Eventually, God eliminated the pain from my past, but I'm yet
learning to deal with the present, which is strongly influenced by my
past.
This is what happens to victims of abuse. They need
compassion, love, understanding and encouragement to focus on the
things gained through their adversity rather than allowing the past to
control the present and the future. Hold them accountable for their
actions and their sin of refusing to forgive. The world can gain from
their experiences and perhaps the continued spread of this crime can be
prevented.
Abuse changes lives forever, but healing is possible if the
choice is to
overcome the victim mentality, and work to become a survivor.
For the full story please click here
OVERCOMING SEXUAL TRAUMA
Do you want to be free?
by Gayle Rogers
Previously I discussed some of the aftereffects such
as rejection, guilt, shame, and condemnation. I also talked about the
root spirit of bitterness breeding spirits of resentment, hatred, anger
and unforgiveness. Here, I want to provide you with several steps to
being free.
The first step to being free is that your resolve
within yourself to be free once and for all must be stronger than any
other desire, except of course, your desire to please Christ. In other
words, if you have operated in a spirit of offense, (generally the
result of years of rejection) your desire to overcome that spirit must
far outweigh your feelings of rejection. In all the years that I felt
rejection and self-worthlessness, it never occurred to me that there
was a root cause of that rejection. I often wondered, “why do I always
feel left out?” or “why doesn’t anybody ever listen to what I have to
say?” As I began to understand spiritual warfare, I slowly began to
understand the tricks of the enemy. If he could keep me in a pit of
sorrow, shame and humiliation, I would never reach my God-given
potential to fulfill the purposes of God.
